Here it is!!!!! ERB #27!!!!! (Click "Show more" for lyrics) All credit goes to the NicePeter, EpicLLOYD, and the whole ERB crew. Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! MOSES! VERSUS! SANTA CLAUS! BEGIN! Santa Claus: Sweet robes, Obi Wan-too-many days in the sun Stop preaching homie, teach your flock to covet some fun! I bring joy every year, man I represent cheer You represent sandals and a scraggly beard Im from the North Pole, thats why my rhymes are so cold! I spit diamonds but Im serving up some fresh coal Youve been a naughty boy, you brought a plague of frogs You best arrest yourself, you broke your own law Or was there something in Rule Six I didnt understand? My list says killed Egyptian dude, buried him in sand I read your book, you got a strict religion No bacon, but mandatory circumcision? Im a jolly bowl of jelly, giving holiday presents But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous! Moses: When I was high up on the mountain God revealed the truths of the Earth But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass You took the Christ outta Christmas and just added more mass You need to stop breaking into houses and creeping and peeping On naughty kids while they sleeping and keep your hands off my stocking Dont you ho ho me! Ill split your ass in half, like I did the Red Sea You aint a saint, you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go! Elves: We aint <b>…<b>